Last year when my mother found groom for me, there will be serious fight at home but this time round my mother came to me and said there is a proposal and its all up to me. That was it... I became so sad!! I couldn't cont' my veenai practise. I just went blank.. THIS IS FASTER THAN I THOUGHT!!!
Why am I so sad and confused?
Why cant I bring myself to say OK?
I thought all this will happen only next year. I wanted to have a good trip, relax my mind and then ready myself for all this. I don't want to hold grudges with anyone. I don't want to cause any pain or trouble to anyone around me. I decided to just do what everyone around me want to do since what I wanted is NEVER going to happen.
When I left the kitchen quietly without answering my mother, I felt the saddness around me has started in the house. This is all because of me... I didn't want to this to happen... I want that laughter in the house. I don't want my father to fall sick again.... then why am I being so cruel? Why cant I just say YES...
SARAS.... DAMN.. why am I not saying YES !!!! I cant bring myself to YES..
Ganesha... Iyya.. Please do something... Please....
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