Life isn't fair, but it's still good

I was asked why my thinking is always negative. That question was asked within me for days. The whole of last week, I was working like a mad woman for more than 12 hrs a day and throughout the week... my life was very miserable. Meeting all the difficult people ... duties, meeting deadlines and even my health was not cooperating, maybe because of the long hrs without food. I was even told by my big boss not to give even the simplest letters to do to the new colleague as she is feeling 'stress' after learning the 4 sample letters. I just kept quiet and did my work non stop. I refused to talk to anymore and even to complain. Whenever am angry, I just took a deep breath.

My anger slowly started to settle down... whats the point of complaining.. whats the point of getting angry... its effecting my health badly, Whenever I eat late, I have been having this sharp pain in my tummy and couldn't sleep either even when I am exhausted. I wake up in the middle of the night and start to roll to and fro in my bed.

Then came last Wed, I made the Ist move of greeting my colleague who isn't in talking terms with me but she refused to acknowledge me. Naz told me that since she is not talking ..leave it. She must be feeling guilty of what she did to my work. So I moved on.

Its going to be the same for next week too. I have duties every single day. But I will survive no matter what. Am not going to complain to anyone .. I chose this life.. I cant see my work just laid in my table .. so I will do as much as I can and go through this myself.

Then tragic things started to happen to the people around me and which shook me a lot. Started to hear my colleagues sad stories .... my friends ..... then the public enquiries. Everyone was going through worst things. While travelling home everyday I started to think.. my life isn't bad at all compared to the things happening around me. The only thing which I want so badly is to settle down and it has to be MY CHOICE. I know my Lord Ganesh is seeing all this and there must be some reason to everything. Even if my prayers have gone wrong, I m sure my mother's prayers will be answered and he WILL get me my HAPPINESS.

Speaking of happiness, nice things happened to me too, I had surprise visit by KK to my work place. I was looking the worst that day but the sweet boy waited for me to finish work and took me for a drink to very nice place which I didn't know it existed in Singapore. Sipping my chocolate milk shake I rested my head onto the wall looking at the yachts. KK was telling me to leave the job and I can earn more for the manly hrs I am putting in now. He is rite but the I am also seeing the nice bosses and flexibilities I have here. Maybe after my degree, I will look into other options. Also met up with my long time friend Senthil who was lost for a while for breakfast but as Sara said.. I dint see any difference in him. He was the same Sam who always bully me. hehehe.. It was nice to catch up with him after almost half a year. We both realised that day that we have been friends for 20years now.. OMG!!!!

Today is Mother's day. My mother have been having this severe backaches which she didn't tell anyone and things became worst on Friday nite when she couldnt move. My father and I took her to TTS, had a jab. The next day, my brother woke me up to call an ambulance as she totally immobilised but she just refused to go to hospital again. Called my father, he dashed back. Was very surprised to see the worried face from my father. He did everything for her and even the cooking. We then took her to the nearest hospital again then she got another jab then she started to move a little.

I ended up doing the sweeping and mopping and it wasn't easy to work with my father who kept saying he is right. omg!! My mother just singled me to keep quiet and do my work. Its really tough to handle the home without my mother especially on weekends.

Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers out there...

Hope one day.. there will be someone wishing me too.....

A another mad week ahead but I will still survive.... I really Hope my 16th May will happen like I want it to be ... Ahem.