Its only me...

Disasters one after another in my life... my work place was the only happy place for me even though the work load was going up higher and higher. But now.. not talking to a colleague who is sitting opposite me.. makes me feel so uneasy... N last weekend.. when I was in the office.. a good colleague cum friend of mine asked me a qs which shocked me to death.. The only thought which came to my mind was to give him a tight slap....

I took all my work and dashed home immediately.. I called Naz and told her what happen?? She was shock too and told me to ignore him in future.. Numerous apologies sms and calls came from him but I told him just stictly talk to me only for work. The most saddest thing is that I have to liaise with him for some of my work. But so far, everything seems normal... dam!! Why must he even think like this about me?? Is it bec am Single ? So what I am single ? so what no man wants to love me? must I go around sleeping with other man? Oh does all other man sees me like this?? why made Him ask me such a qs?? How I wish, I could pick up the phone and complain to Nesh... How I wish??!!!

All this made me very quiet at work.. even my boss asked me what has happened to me? I jus told her my braces pain is back. Only Naz know what has happened but I shouldnt be like this..its not my fault on both cases.. Its so strange and am still wondering why have I not gone mad yet with all these things happening around me !!! Just when I was about to recover from my weekend shock, I got another shock when I bumped into my classmate & her little gal. I saw my friend looking very different.. I carried the gal and asked her what is she doing at the family court. She told me she is here to file a divorce. I was stunned and I looked at her in shock. She told me.. everything went wrong in her life and her only happiness is her gal now. I couldnt say any word but to give her a big hug. I hailed a cab for them. Walking back with my tea ... memories were running down at back of my mind. When we almost finishing our last module, she was very bz preparing for her wedding. I envyed her so much... a beautiful home, a good looking husband and stable career and on top of this a beautiful angel was born after their first year of marriage. Her marriage just ended after 2years!! What could have happen ? Thinking about her made me wonder, I am not the only one who has problems... She told me, one day and she tell me everything but yet to receive her sms.

Nowadays, am having the same dream everyday.. (standing in my favourite God and telling HIM that to take me with HIM)... Ending my life is the last thing I would do but I simply exhausted.. not tired.. super exhausted.. there is no meaning to my life... but if I am fated to be Single.. so be it but there is no way.. am going to go around sleeping with any man.. There was only One Man and he is gone.. thats the end of my love life.... I will go on my daily life and not think going to think about tomorrow which will always remain as a dream for me. SADLY...

Dear Ganesh... missing u so much... Be in my memories always...