Its Maha Sivarathri today, went to temple and to my heart content I poured out all my sorrows and left the temple with a light heart. I prayed all my dearest love ones must stay healthy and happy. N I dnt want any one of them to leave me. After my Dinner & Dance happy event, I have been hearing and seeing major disasters which shattered me big time. I couldnt say anything to anyone, I jus started to walk like a mummy with my thoughts else where.
The major set back was my work. All our work load has increased, more than any other season. We all have been working non stop and I have totally lost my strength and am no longer doing things as fast as before. Thanks to the upcoming changes announced. But there are no new recruits. "We are working very hard in finding new people" this is the line always said by our biggies. Recently there was a huge quarrel between 2 of my biggies during meeting. But strangely, there are some people who claims that they are bz but can afford to go for course and long holidays. mmmm.... Together with Naz, have been going to wrk from 7.30am and leaving office @8pm. I went to work @ 7 again today too. I am so freaking tired. I was telling Naz, no matter how tired she is, she has 2 wonderful boys waiting @ home but for me.. hurtful words and doubts will be waiting for me... HOW LUCKY I AM!!!
My personal, I dnt wan waste my time typing out the shity life am living. Jus when I wanted to call Naz n cry out my anger, I saw the message which Nesh has left me 'Even if everything in life comes crashing down, Life is meant to perk urself up and fight again'. I wiped my tears and headed to my fav spot, Mandai reservior. Sat @ the same fav place and looked @ sunset. I had my best memories coming back to me and headed back home.
Today, I told "Shiva", dear God I wil fight till I have my strength but just me the one happiness I want. I am still hoping one day, I will go his temple holding my man's arm. I hope...
Om Nama Sivaya Sivaya Nama Om...........
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